I feel as though I’ve lived my life like I live my holiday season, in preparation of what’s to come. We spend from Black Friday to Christmas Eve buying presents, decorating, singing songs, etc all in preparation for Christmas. So much work is done to get ready for this joyous occasion. In the same way, everything in my life has been in preparation for the next step. There was always an end goal, and a plan, and steps along the way. I prepared myself in every way I knew for the “real world” that would come after graduation, but as I sit in front of Advent devotionals, I’m reminded of what Advent is really about, waiting.
I hate waiting.
I’m an instant gratification, give me now, let’s get this over with kinda girl, and the whole “waiting” thing has never sat well for me. I’ve never been able to be still, sit, and just wait. I get anxious or bored or upset that things are taking so long. I busy myself with preparations so that the waiting won’t seem as long.
As I go into this Advent season, I realize that for the past year I’ve been in my own Advent season, my own seasoning of waiting. There are no preparations to be done, nothing to busy myself with while I anxiously wait for my next step. This is so hard for me. I think about what the wise men must have felt like, following a star. I mean, it’s star in the sky, there are thousands of them, how long did they wait and follow that start just hoping that it was the right one?
With so many paths to take, I’m clinging to the hope that there is another side of this waiting period, that my star is taking me somewhere. And with so many stars out there, so many paths to take in the waiting, how do I know that I’m on the right one?
Finding the patience is aggravating. I don’t know if I’ll ever be comfortable with the concept, but that’s where I am. Maybe Advent can be my comfort. The wait until Christmas is inevitable, but every year, at the end of our waiting, after all the anticipation, comes Christmas. It never fails. The joy will always be at the end of the waiting.
Since this post is WAY overdue, I guess I should update my faithful followers (assuming you’ve been more patient with me that I would have been) on what I’m doing with my time of Advent.
Currently, I am still living in New Orleans, in half of a double shotgun house (click here for a concept picture) with two girls from Washington state. My new address is:
514 N Rendon St
New Orleans, LA 70119 (I still love getting mail)
And I’m working full-time at Southern Candymakers, a local candy company located in the French Quarter! They make the best pralines in the city, and I get to eat as much as I want! (I have also started biking to work because they let me eat as much as I want)
That’s the basics of my current life, I’d love to go further if you’re interested, but I think that’s all I have for the blogosphere!